Nice Guys Finish Last
It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I was surrounded by some of my best friends at our favorite lunch meeting place- Cactus Cantina. The fajitas were fantastic, the margaritas were strong, and the conversation was juicy.
“Jackass called me again last night,” Beth said as she licked some of the salt off the rim of her glass.
“Really?” Lily asked “Why won’t he give up?”
“I don’t know, maybe he thinks we can work it out….”
“Jackass” is Beth’s ex-boyfriend. It is very common to rename an “ex” something far more fitting than his birth name.
I often refer to my ex as “The Drunken Retard”. All of the girls know exactly who I’m talking about.
Beth continued, “The truth is, I don’t know- maybe we can work it out. When things were good they were really good. I hate to give up.”
Beth and “Jackass” have broken-up and gotten back together four times in the last 2 years. Beth was clearly trying to justify bringing “Jackass” back into the picture.
“I don’t know,” Meg added. “Remember “Butthead”? I kept that going way too long…and it never worked out.”
“Butthead” walked all over Meg for years, before he dumped her and married some other girl.
“Yeah, I remember,” Beth looked defeated as she took another slurp of her margarita.
“What about that cute, fun, smart, successful guy you met online?” I asked. Beth had talked about him weeks ago- she said he was perfect.
“You mean Rob? No, I don’t know. He’s great, he’s smart and fabulous and treats me really well……it’s just that……”
Everyone sat silent listening for what Rob could have possibly done to blow it.
“……he’s soooooo nice.” Beth finished.
Wow. That’s a deal-breaker for a lot of girls. And I don’t know why. I don’t think I’ve ever broken up with someone for being “too nice”. But I hear it all the time. And it seems the guys we’ve nicknamed for treating us badly are the ones we all want to win back.
Are these girls looking for constant approval from their men?
Maybe if a guy is good to them- it’s too easy. If he’s a jerk then they get to work for the affirmation.
Maybe a lot of girls don’t think they deserve to be treated well. So they return to the “Jackasses” and “Buttheads” of America.
Then they wonder ‘what went wrong?’
I’m guilty too. I sometimes look back at “Loserboy” or “Asslick” and wonder what I could have done to keep them. They both treated me like dirt before moving on. I still have no idea why I put up with it. The relationships were a constant battle for approval.
But I’ve grown a lot since then. Today I wouldn’t allow that to happen. I wouldn’t break up with a guy for being “too nice” either. Why settle for being treated like anything less than you deserve? But that lesson I learned on my own.
“Anyway, I think I’m going to meet him for lunch next week.” Beth confirmed.
The decision was made. She was going to give Jackass another try.
Lily shot me a look as she reached for the tortillas.
“Relationships are work,” Meg added.
“Yep,” I said. “Good luck. But if you can- give the nice guy another chance- they’re a lot less work.”
“Jackass called me again last night,” Beth said as she licked some of the salt off the rim of her glass.
“Really?” Lily asked “Why won’t he give up?”
“I don’t know, maybe he thinks we can work it out….”
“Jackass” is Beth’s ex-boyfriend. It is very common to rename an “ex” something far more fitting than his birth name.
I often refer to my ex as “The Drunken Retard”. All of the girls know exactly who I’m talking about.
Beth continued, “The truth is, I don’t know- maybe we can work it out. When things were good they were really good. I hate to give up.”
Beth and “Jackass” have broken-up and gotten back together four times in the last 2 years. Beth was clearly trying to justify bringing “Jackass” back into the picture.
“I don’t know,” Meg added. “Remember “Butthead”? I kept that going way too long…and it never worked out.”
“Butthead” walked all over Meg for years, before he dumped her and married some other girl.
“Yeah, I remember,” Beth looked defeated as she took another slurp of her margarita.
“What about that cute, fun, smart, successful guy you met online?” I asked. Beth had talked about him weeks ago- she said he was perfect.
“You mean Rob? No, I don’t know. He’s great, he’s smart and fabulous and treats me really well……it’s just that……”
Everyone sat silent listening for what Rob could have possibly done to blow it.
“……he’s soooooo nice.” Beth finished.
Wow. That’s a deal-breaker for a lot of girls. And I don’t know why. I don’t think I’ve ever broken up with someone for being “too nice”. But I hear it all the time. And it seems the guys we’ve nicknamed for treating us badly are the ones we all want to win back.
Are these girls looking for constant approval from their men?
Maybe if a guy is good to them- it’s too easy. If he’s a jerk then they get to work for the affirmation.
Maybe a lot of girls don’t think they deserve to be treated well. So they return to the “Jackasses” and “Buttheads” of America.
Then they wonder ‘what went wrong?’
I’m guilty too. I sometimes look back at “Loserboy” or “Asslick” and wonder what I could have done to keep them. They both treated me like dirt before moving on. I still have no idea why I put up with it. The relationships were a constant battle for approval.
But I’ve grown a lot since then. Today I wouldn’t allow that to happen. I wouldn’t break up with a guy for being “too nice” either. Why settle for being treated like anything less than you deserve? But that lesson I learned on my own.
“Anyway, I think I’m going to meet him for lunch next week.” Beth confirmed.
The decision was made. She was going to give Jackass another try.
Lily shot me a look as she reached for the tortillas.
“Relationships are work,” Meg added.
“Yep,” I said. “Good luck. But if you can- give the nice guy another chance- they’re a lot less work.”
posted by Jan32 at 1:55 PM
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