Relationship Guidelines by Jan
1. Relationships have expiration dates.
Anyone who is of marrying age (i.e. late 20’s, early 30’s) in a relationship for more than 2 years and not talking about marriage needs to move on. I know this from experience. It is very easy to get stuck in a relationship and think you’re better off than being alone. You’re wrong.
If you’re not looking to make the next step with the person you’re with after 2 years- you probably never will be.
If you’re the one waiting for the person you’re with to be “ready”- they probably never will be.
Cut the ties- move on with your life.
This rule is the most important rule. I see it broken constantly- and I recognize it easily. I too, broke it for more than a year. Nothing was ever so terrible it was worth a break-up. Nothing was ever so great it was worth a discussion of marriage. So there we sat- in a comfortable relationship going nowhere. For nearly 4 years.
It took a drunken fight involving police, the bartender, and a pedestrian to finally make me realize that my relationship had expired and it was time to go.
I convinced myself that I would probably die alone- but at least I wasn’t settling for less than I deserved.
Five months later I met my fiancé.
Two day ago one of my sister’s friends expressed envy of my recent engagement.
“Oh My God! It’s beautiful!” Jen gasped as she tried on my ring. “I would just die if Barry ever proposed!!!”
Barry and Jen have been together 4 ½ years. Jen is 33 and drooling at the mouth.
“Have you talked about it?” I asked.
“A little,” Jen sighs. “He says he’s not ready. So here I am….waiting.” she shrugs her shoulders.
“Oh.” I respond.
I’m not close enough to Jen to pass along my #1 Rule of Relationships.
But maybe I should. Perhaps I could save my sister’s friend another 4 years of waiting.
The truth is- Barry will never propose. What makes anyone think he’ll be more ready after 5, 6, or 10 years?
Then there’s Will. A guy I’ve known for at least a decade. He would date girls for years before leaving them for someone better.
I saw Will on Friday. He got married last month- to a girl he met less than a year ago!!! Dated, proposed and married in under 12 months. Wow.
"It doesn't take long to recognize perfection," Will smiled.
I've never seen him happier.
Not that I encourage speed marriage- but I truly believe when you know you’ve met the right person- you stop stalling in hopes of finding someone better.
Anyone who is of marrying age (i.e. late 20’s, early 30’s) in a relationship for more than 2 years and not talking about marriage needs to move on. I know this from experience. It is very easy to get stuck in a relationship and think you’re better off than being alone. You’re wrong.
If you’re not looking to make the next step with the person you’re with after 2 years- you probably never will be.
If you’re the one waiting for the person you’re with to be “ready”- they probably never will be.
Cut the ties- move on with your life.
This rule is the most important rule. I see it broken constantly- and I recognize it easily. I too, broke it for more than a year. Nothing was ever so terrible it was worth a break-up. Nothing was ever so great it was worth a discussion of marriage. So there we sat- in a comfortable relationship going nowhere. For nearly 4 years.
It took a drunken fight involving police, the bartender, and a pedestrian to finally make me realize that my relationship had expired and it was time to go.
I convinced myself that I would probably die alone- but at least I wasn’t settling for less than I deserved.
Five months later I met my fiancé.
Two day ago one of my sister’s friends expressed envy of my recent engagement.
“Oh My God! It’s beautiful!” Jen gasped as she tried on my ring. “I would just die if Barry ever proposed!!!”
Barry and Jen have been together 4 ½ years. Jen is 33 and drooling at the mouth.
“Have you talked about it?” I asked.
“A little,” Jen sighs. “He says he’s not ready. So here I am….waiting.” she shrugs her shoulders.
“Oh.” I respond.
I’m not close enough to Jen to pass along my #1 Rule of Relationships.
But maybe I should. Perhaps I could save my sister’s friend another 4 years of waiting.
The truth is- Barry will never propose. What makes anyone think he’ll be more ready after 5, 6, or 10 years?
Then there’s Will. A guy I’ve known for at least a decade. He would date girls for years before leaving them for someone better.
I saw Will on Friday. He got married last month- to a girl he met less than a year ago!!! Dated, proposed and married in under 12 months. Wow.
"It doesn't take long to recognize perfection," Will smiled.
I've never seen him happier.
Not that I encourage speed marriage- but I truly believe when you know you’ve met the right person- you stop stalling in hopes of finding someone better.
posted by Jan32 at 1:11 PM
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