The Final Days
Fact: The fastest way to ruin a marriage is to live with your inlaws. I know this because I’m on day 28 of a 29 day visit, and I’ve never wanted to murder my husband more than in these last few days. In fact, by day 16 I stopped appreciating his smile, his thoughtfulness, and his stunning good looks. Instead, I began to see him as the sole reason for my dissatisfaction and unhappiness. And as the days continued I began to envision myself packing up my bags and moving to another state. I started to fantasize about where I would go, what new career I would take on, and of course, about my new drop-dead gorgeous charming and weathly boyfriend who I would undoubedtly meet on a beach somewhere. By the way, this boyfriend in my imagination has no parents. He’s an orphan. And wouldn’t dream of inviting anyone into our home for more than a long weekend.
Yesterday, in the final days of this neverending visit, my husband and I attended a wedding. The bride glowed as she sauntered down the aisle. Her husband-to-be wore a grin that ran ear-to-ear. As they proceeded to say their vows it took all the power in my body not to jump out of my seat and shout a warning from the back of the room....the same warning I wish someone had shouted at me.
"WHAT ABOUT THE INLAWS? YOU LOVEBIRDS CONSIDER THEM? 'CAUSE TAKE IT FROM ME AS SOON AS YOU SAY YOUR I DO'S THEY'LL DECIDE THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEIR LITTLE BOY!!!"
"DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!! QUICK- THERE'S STILL TIME TO DRAFT A PRENUP!!!!"
The room would gasp, heads would swing to see who was shouting such an attrocity across the church floor. And there I would stand waving my fists, like a little old lady nearly knocked down by a bulldozer.
I decided to restrain myself. Good luck, I wished the bride. Maybe your inlaws have better things to do than shack up in your home for a month, stink up your bathroom, sit on your couch, and wait for their darling son to come home.
As my husband and I drove back to our house...the silence was deafening. We'd been fighting all weekend, which is very unusual for us. It was all about the inlaws.
"Are you still mad?" he asked
"Me?" (this response buys me alittle time to come up with a better answer.)
"Uh, huh. Are my parents THAT bad?" he wondered "I mean they only visit once a year, and they're very sweet house guests, and they really like you...."
"It's not your parents, it's lack of my personal space. "
He doesn't respond. Truthfully, there's nothing to say. We just have to wait a few more days until their plane ships them off this continent and back to their beautiful country.
I wonder if I'll make it that long. I wonder if I should move into a hotel. I wonder what my imaginary boyfriend is doing right now. Is he thinking about me? Does he have a frozen margarita waiting for me on some tropical island somewhere?
"Here we are," my husband says as we pull up to the house. I'm shaken from my dreams of a life without inlaws.
"And don't sweat it, Jan. It's just a few more days, and tonight my mom is trying out a new recipe."
Yesterday, in the final days of this neverending visit, my husband and I attended a wedding. The bride glowed as she sauntered down the aisle. Her husband-to-be wore a grin that ran ear-to-ear. As they proceeded to say their vows it took all the power in my body not to jump out of my seat and shout a warning from the back of the room....the same warning I wish someone had shouted at me.
"WHAT ABOUT THE INLAWS? YOU LOVEBIRDS CONSIDER THEM? 'CAUSE TAKE IT FROM ME AS SOON AS YOU SAY YOUR I DO'S THEY'LL DECIDE THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEIR LITTLE BOY!!!"
"DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!! QUICK- THERE'S STILL TIME TO DRAFT A PRENUP!!!!"
The room would gasp, heads would swing to see who was shouting such an attrocity across the church floor. And there I would stand waving my fists, like a little old lady nearly knocked down by a bulldozer.
I decided to restrain myself. Good luck, I wished the bride. Maybe your inlaws have better things to do than shack up in your home for a month, stink up your bathroom, sit on your couch, and wait for their darling son to come home.
As my husband and I drove back to our house...the silence was deafening. We'd been fighting all weekend, which is very unusual for us. It was all about the inlaws.
"Are you still mad?" he asked
"Me?" (this response buys me alittle time to come up with a better answer.)
"Uh, huh. Are my parents THAT bad?" he wondered "I mean they only visit once a year, and they're very sweet house guests, and they really like you...."
"It's not your parents, it's lack of my personal space. "
He doesn't respond. Truthfully, there's nothing to say. We just have to wait a few more days until their plane ships them off this continent and back to their beautiful country.
I wonder if I'll make it that long. I wonder if I should move into a hotel. I wonder what my imaginary boyfriend is doing right now. Is he thinking about me? Does he have a frozen margarita waiting for me on some tropical island somewhere?
"Here we are," my husband says as we pull up to the house. I'm shaken from my dreams of a life without inlaws.
"And don't sweat it, Jan. It's just a few more days, and tonight my mom is trying out a new recipe."
posted by Jan32 at 1:17 PM
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