The Scoop

“So what did I miss?” I asked Lily. I’d been on vacation in Phoenix and my best friend of all time knew exactly what to fill me in on.
“Wow, Jan, that’s tough. Nothing really,” she replied.
“Seriously? An entire week and no one has scoop? That’s unbelievable. What about Stephanie’s new boyfriend? Or Wednesday night before Thanksgiving?”
The night before Thanksgiving was always a great time to go out get hammered and sleep in before eating through your entire hangover. Wednesday was its own holiday.
“Nope, this year everyone took it easy.”
“Wow.” I was disappointed. There was always at least one good story.
Tales usually involved someone making out with someone else, someone falling down in the middle of the street, or my personal favorite- the taxi-cab barf up. Yum.

“Oh wait,” Lily continued, “I can think of one thing- but it’s only if you have time to hear it.”
“Bring it on,” I said. I was desperate for any kind of news.
“Well, do you remember Bevin? She’s got brown hair, skinny, about 5’4”- she went to my going away party?”
(Lily had never actually left. We threw her an enormous going-away party before she changed her mind.)
“Of course, how could I forget? She’s always the first one trashed at any party. Very sweet, though.” I responded.
“Yep, that’s the one.” Lily confirmed. “Well she was set up on a blind date last week with David- your ex- David.”
“Really?” I gasped. “Go on…”
“Nothing, that’s it, they just met for a few drinks. Bevin says she wants to see him again. Does it bother you? She wants to know.” Lily asked.
“Does it bother me? Ha!” I laughed.

Truthfully, this was somewhat of a cover-up. David and I broke up over a year ago. Aside from the e-mail, we hadn’t talked. That was my decision. I found it too painful to have any kind of contact with him. We dated for 3 years. During that time we drank, drank more, and fought. Usually, because we were drunk. I had walked- no run- away from the relationship, knowing I was on the fast-track to nowhere- or an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
I would tell friends I was dating ‘my future ex-husband’. They thought I was being funny. I knew I was being truthful. Needless to say, the relationship ended badly.

“Well, to be honest,” I continued after catching my breath, “it doesn’t bother me….I’m just shocked. I mean- how many men live in DC? A billion?”
“I know, it’s a small world” Lily consoled, “what do you want me to say to Bevin?”
“Tell her I wish them both my best.” I replied.

And I meant it.

The truth is I’m happy in my current functional relationship. Peter is moving in. He treats me like a queen. He doesn’t mind that I drink and sometimes smoke- but he doesn’t encourage it either. I feel like I’m living a healthier happier life with him in it.
Why wouldn’t I want that for someone else?

“You’re amazing, Jan. I don’t know if I’d feel the same way.” Lily said.

A day later, the conversation is still on my mind. The whole ‘one degree of separation’ freaks me out. It makes David feel very near. But it also makes me realize that I’m lucky. I’m not going out on blind dates hoping to find someone. I’m happy with who I have.