Who Is "The One"?

In any relationship a person reaches a point where they decide they’re with “The One”.
But what defines “The One”?

I remember when I first started dating Peter. There were no initial sparks, no love at first sight- but it was easy. Just two people who enjoyed each other’s company, bored with lonely nights watching reruns on the couch. (I always added a bottle of wine and a few cheap cigarettes for extra fun.) But quiet, no less.
It was after the first month that I really started to enjoy those nights with Peter. We did everything from watching foreign movies to sucking down martinis at the lounge around the corner. The nights were comfortable and relaxing.

That was ten months ago. Peter and I are still together and now I’m almost convinced he’s ‘The One’. There’s no drama, no heated fights, no break-ups. It’s been perfect according to everyone I know. But is it too perfect?

Each morning Peter wakes up before I do. He feeds my cat and makes coffee. On Mondays and Thursdays he takes out the trash. He’s clean, thoughtful, and easy-going.
He’s also ready to commit.

It happened in Italy.

“Babe, what a fantastic night,” I sighed as I climbed into bed.
The view from our hotel room overlooked the Italian Riviera. I could hear the small waves crash below us.
“I always have a fantastic night with you,” he smiled. “You are a beautiful part of my life and I always want us to be together.”
“Me too,” I said. I could feel my heart pounding.
I knew there was a chance for a proposal on this trip, but I certainly hadn’t planned a response.
”You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want that to change,” Peter continued.
I lay there wide-eyed. My heart was now beating out of my chest.
“Will you marry me?” he asked.
Oh shit.
It’s funny because a million girls would die for this proposal. And I just lay there, speechless.
“Yes,” I said, “I love you, I love you in my life……” I was searching for the right words. “But I’m not ready, not yet.”
Oxygen never felt so good.

It was later decided he would move in and we would begin the search for an engagement ring. I feel comfortable and secure with this decision. I think.
I’m petrified of marriage. The mere possibility of being responsible for anyone other than me is mortifying. I’m not convinced I can handle it.

I also worry that if I don’t want to burst into a sprint as I march down the isle, that maybe I’m banking on the wrong guy. But then, I’ve never wanted to sprint toward anyone. I’ve always felt very self-sufficient.

So who knows? How do you determine if someone is “The One”?

I’m hoping someone is “The One” when you find comfort in their presence and when life is easier with them in it.

If I’m right, I’ll let you know.